as one door closes...

So I'm finally back home after my 5-day adventure in Georgia.

I guess I decided to go home for several reasons... and the results of which were good and bad.

The biggest issue of course was to make amends with my mother. our broken relationship had really carried on far too long and it was getting sort of ridiculous. I'm just as stubborn as she is, but someone had to break the silence. and I decided to step up and be that person.
Unfortunately, it didn't go very well. As usual... we didn't really talk... in fact, every time we talked, it was here streaming for 30 minutes at a time about how I'm a terrible person, why I'm a shame to the family, and how I'll always be a failure.
So I've washed my hands of the situation. I have to live my life and if she can't support me, then I'll have to leave her behind.
it sounds kinda cold hearted... and maybe it is... but I know her. and she's very set in her ways... it's pretty much over.

Other than that, I visited my highschool. a few teachers made me promise to go back to college soon. which I do plan on doing when the time comes again.
It was great seeing some of the younger kids that have yet to graduate.
my family.

I also spent a lot of time with Steven. we worked on 3 new songs for The Strange View. I have one of them stuck in my head right now. I'm so happy with how they've come out so far. TSV is gonna make an awesome comeback! :)
We picked up his tux and got ready for prom & such. He & Liz was SOOOO cute. I went with them to take the pre-prom pictures and I took a few with them... my kids are growing up...

I also found a lot of things around the house that reminded me of so many things of how I grew up... from the 100s of pictures drawn & stories written... to books read & random keepsakes... I brought a few of them back with me... if I could have, I would have brought it all.

I also went on a date with a friend I used to be involved with kinda... It was a lot of fun. we talked a lot and I started to feel close to her again... but then there came a point in the evening where there was a climax. and I realized something very very important.
and when the revelation came, I knew that if I didn't take it, I would regret it forever. and if I did and it didn't work out, that there may be turning back to how I came to view life 6 months ago.

so I'm closing a door on a relationship of 18 years.
re-realizing where I came from and where I'm going.
and wrapping up the chapter of something that began to change my life about a year ago.



JD loves his sasha




Leave the nice comments!
mmhmm! :)

to the window, to the wall

mmm. today was a great day.

I woke up having no idea what to do with myself.

Then Christina calls for hang-outs.
It was sooooo nice out today we just had to go to the park. Then we went to borders & new england comics then back to my place. she's so much fun to hang out with because we have the best conversations. she's amazingly chill in every way.
the perfect friend. haha.
I loved chillin' in the park sooo much. just enjoying the warm weather and feeling the sun on my face. the wind ripping at my clothes. and hearing the world around me.

I then spent time singing loudly to music while derek & josh weren't home.

then mark, sean, kyle, zach & meg came over and we (except kyle) went to see our buddies Vallon & Shot Heard Around The Word play in Natick.

One band did a cover of "Cute Without The 'E'" and insisted that I come up and sing it with them. so I did.
Another celebrity moment for me! 2 in a week. lol. riiiiiiiiiiiight.

I'm gonna be doing guest vocals on the Astrada EP. mmmm. that should be fun stuff :)
And my band is gonna have to cut our 3 week tour with Millennium Children down to a week due to all our drummer & van issues.
But not to worry, we're hitting the road in August for a month with A Good Night Sound Rush (Takeover Records).
yummm

I can't wait to go home soon... I'm leaving for the big GA on tuesday!
I can't wait to see katherine, bailie, amber & all the kids I used to chill with in disgusta.....i mean augusta.


there's a party still going on at my house right now... so I'm gonna go join it before they bite my head off!


if you love me...
leave some love!

run way, run away

I made a "celebrity cameo" in a film today. haha
It was kinda unexpected. I actually ran into these guys working on a film that I've met at a party (at my house)... I guess they remembered my band. and I was asked to do a scene with me in it.

my role was to walk up to this guy and nonchalantly say "I fucked your wife."

YES! all my acting experience led up to that one moment!
time well spent. lol


I realized at work today how much I enjoy working.

sure it sucks sometimes to wake up early when you didn't get enough or any sleep.
and sure by 1 o'clock you're so ready to go home sometimes that you check your hours every 30 minutes.
but it really beats sitting at home and feeling like you're not getting anything done.
I get antsy when I feel like I'm not making progress...
I really don't understand how some people can work a low paying job that is just getting them by, and then come home and smoke weed with their friends and go to bed.
I understand that some people are happy with that, but I couldn't do that. It's way too easy.
I like a challenge. To work towards goals.
And when I see some of my friends losing interest in making something of themselves &/or becoming a pothead, I seriously am saddened. And they give me excuses, but I don't really buy them. Especially if I know they have potential for so much more.

but then... whatever makes you happy. who am I to try to motivate you to progress?


leave some love! :)

After spending some time thinking about life & what has become of me, I've decided to hit the reset button.

I've gone back into "fuck it" mode.

I seriously can't believe how much life has side tracked me from what I'm supposed to be doing. Even to the point where I was willing to drop everything for one person.
That's seriously so weak of me. I'm pretty ashamed of what I've done after I've told myself I wouldn't for years.

But I've regained focus.
I'm ready to continue the progression and I've never felt better.

of course, the last time I went with this, I ended up regretting it for a long time... which is probably why I drifted to where I have been over the past 6 months. But I've decided that there will be a time for that later in life when I don't have an internal conflict of interests to deal with.

Haha. Derek picked me up from work today. we went to a to the all you can eat buffet in the Walpole Mall. dear god... I ate so much. a good 4 plates of food. I seriously have not eaten that much food at once or even in one day for months.

My band is going on tour soon!! that is, if everything works out.
I really miss being on the road and meeting new people everyday. it's gonna be a LOT of fun.
So I think I'm gonna be on tour most of June & probably some of July & a lot of August.

I can't wait to see my friends next week. I really think going home for a week is gonna help me put so much of my life back in prospective... to remind me of who I am, where I came from, and where I'm going.
I kinda wanted my best buddy to come with me... it would have made things 10x more fun and a lot less awkward. but she has other things to attend to I suppose.
oh well. fuck it.

leave some! :)



I think I've idolized Tony Jaa. hahaha. he kicks ass!
This is one whole take. 4-minutes of one shot!
sooo sick

who the hell do you think you are?
coming into my life and trying to take over again

but of course, I'm really just a bit lost again.
I opened MY "sweet mouth" ???
what about you? saying everything right all over again.

I can't deal with this. but unfortunately I'm going to have to find a way to work this out... and going back home is only going to make this all the more difficult.
I left GA for a reason. but maybe everything is finally catching back up to me... or maybe this isn't real... maybe I'm settling... maybe not. WAY too many maybes.

I talked to Tyler last night.
He just recently broke up with his GF of 3 years and you know what he said? "Fuck it. Music is so much better anyway"
holy shit. that was me 2 years ago. but I don't even know if I think the same way anymore. I'm beginning to think that it was a grave mistake.
Have I really changed so much? And if I've really changed, is it progression? or am I losing ambition?
...losing my will to finish what I started.

becoming a failure.

I've never worried about failure. I never even considered it a fear because I always refuse to fail. I always plow through any sort of pitfall and continue on my path to fulfillment.

I can't even believe I'm considering what I'm considering right now.
I've reached so far for what I have accomplished and what I plan to accomplish.

Am I really willing to throw it all away?


I think I'm at a major turning point in my life.
and I think that the truth is I'm scared of becoming everything that I left behind.


I'm Joey
I'm 20 years old
and I'm alone.




I can't wait to see all the kids in this video vnext week if everything works out with my plans to go home!