can't sleep

I hate this feeling.
the feeling that the people you need to understand how you feel don't care.

ALOT of crap has happened to me since I last posted.
I've actually kinda avoided posting because I didn't really feel like trying to catch up. for some reason I feel obligated to.. but it's really just to much.

I have a new apartment.
it's a symbol of new beginnings for me.
I'm trying to find some sort of stability in my life.

a catastrophe seems to be on the horizon for me.
I can feel it creeping into my life. it's chill haunts me.

I'm lonely.
scared.
and my mood is starting to affect my judgment.