is that what you call a getaway?

I really miss the relationship I used to have.

being able to just kiss and forget about life.
to sleep beside someone you care about.
actually feel loved rather than just told.

I really hate what my life has become.

being untouchable.
being kicked out every night.
never feeling any love or affection.

being reduced to someone that the person you care about is ashamed of.
and hidden because its more important that others feel valued than I do.

life can be an ugly monster.
the only thing I want right now is to love and to be loved.
and its the only thing I can't and will never have.

but I'll keep pretending that I'm content with who I am and how I am.
maybe if I lie to myself long enough, I'll actually believe that I'm happy.